Excerpts from the personal diary of NFL referee and lawyer Ed Hochuli.Tumblr (3.0; @edbloguli)http://www.edbloguli.com/“Seeing all these players with tattoos reminds me of some ink I considered getting when I was young: the entire text of the Bible (both testaments) on my bicep.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/51906673http://www.edbloguli.com/post/51906673Fri, 26 Sep 2008 14:48:37 -0400“My grandchildren love it when I crawl around on the floor and they ride me like a horsey. You should have seen little Bethany yesterday when I shattered the Preakness Stakes record by 14 lengths on my hands and knees.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/51722891http://www.edbloguli.com/post/51722891Thu, 25 Sep 2008 11:28:51 -0400“Just got a memo from the National Weather Service…they want me to stop making my first down signal so forcefully. Also, there’s a hurricane they need me to inhale.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/51304919http://www.edbloguli.com/post/51304919Mon, 22 Sep 2008 19:15:15 -0400“On Saturdays, I just like to kick back and relax. Make everything a little less intense. Like, I’ll still run my daily marathon, but the boat I drag behind me can be raised on a wheeled platform. Little things like that.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/51015155http://www.edbloguli.com/post/51015155Sat, 20 Sep 2008 15:19:05 -0400“Sometimes I think about writing an autobiography, but I worry Marvel Comics would sue me if they thought I was plagiarizing the Incredible Hulk. Also, there aren’t enough redwood trees to carve such a tome directly into.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50901163http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50901163Fri, 19 Sep 2008 16:28:16 -0400““Hey, Ed, how much can you bench?” I always have to reply to that with a question of my own: “How good are you at scientific notation?” If they don’t answer me in 1/(3.8 x 10^23) seconds, I just chuckle and walk away.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50885957http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50885957Fri, 19 Sep 2008 14:09:00 -0400“<p>Just got my Week 3 assignment: @ Baltimore. Now I’ve just got to decide whether to run there or throw my bus.</p> <p><br/> (Hint: throw my bus.)</p>”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50885635http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50885635Fri, 19 Sep 2008 14:07:37 -0400“To this day, I’m the only person to ever pass the Arizona state bar exam while curling two 200-pound dumbbells. (I was writing with my teeth.)”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50884012http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50884012Fri, 19 Sep 2008 13:55:13 -0400“You’d think the hardest part of bench-pressing the goalposts would be the weight, but you’d be wrong. It’s finding someone to spot you.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50879220http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50879220Fri, 19 Sep 2008 13:14:03 -0400“Fans ask me what I like to listen to when I’m at the gym. Usually I like the sweet music of hearing my own muscle fibers tear and rebuild themselves. Also, Cheap Trick.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50759981http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50759981Thu, 18 Sep 2008 17:51:00 -0400“Got into an argument about the rules of pool today. I said scratching on the 8-ball was legal as long as you immediately broke the table with your forehead. Four tables later, my grandson finally agreed out of sheer terror.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50753098http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50753098Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:40:01 -0400“Another invention idea: 900-pound plates for barbells. I’m sick of spending literally hours loading up the bar for my workout. (Side invention: bars that can handle the weight I push.)”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50734575http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50734575Thu, 18 Sep 2008 13:58:26 -0400“I hate, hate, hate when <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3594778" target="blank">ESPN.com runs a picture of me looking scrawny</a> when I know for a fact there are pictures of me where the seams on my shirt are ripping, not just stretching.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50710425http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50710425Thu, 18 Sep 2008 10:59:00 -0400“Toughest adjustment coming into the league was learning not to throw my flag so high. My first toss left the earth’s atmosphere and went into orbit. I think it tore a hunk off of Mir.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50609813http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50609813Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:54:44 -0400“Fans ask me what the toughest part of my workout routine is, and I give it to them straight: leaving the gym.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50609551http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50609551Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:52:56 -0400“First thing I do when I buy a car is throw the jack away. Seriously, who needs a machine to help them lift a car?”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50601215http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50601215Wed, 17 Sep 2008 17:24:13 -0400“I felt so bad about blowing that call in the Chargers game that I asked Norv Turner, “Look, how many one-handed pushups do I have to do to make this up to you? A million? Because I can do that.””http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50598942http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50598942Wed, 17 Sep 2008 17:01:14 -0400“I wonder if I could bench press a castle. Kidding. I can.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50598012http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50598012Wed, 17 Sep 2008 16:54:20 -0400“I squeezed my whistle so hard it atomized in my fingers. Third time that’s happened this season.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50596919http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50596919Wed, 17 Sep 2008 16:47:30 -0400“Invention idea: reading gloves for newspaper so the ink won’t smudge my fingertips.”http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50595972http://www.edbloguli.com/post/50595972Wed, 17 Sep 2008 16:37:01 -0400